I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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