I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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