i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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