did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
