thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i think my cat just said my name.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
