I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
