Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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