areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
