So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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