Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
