Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
