Moan for me like Helen Keller
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just googled if crying burns calories
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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