if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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