we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
