Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
