Do you still have your period?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
