I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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