She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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