He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
