They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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