this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
