Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
