the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
