so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize