I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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