Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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