You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
