Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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