Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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