he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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