everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Randomize
