I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
