ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
