I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
