Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
