I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
