just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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