we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
