would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
