I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
