Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Say something about gay babies.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
