i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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