I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
