Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
