You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
