I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
