I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
