You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hippo gnu deer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize