I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
