apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
