Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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