you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
