i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
