sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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