I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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