Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
