You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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