In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize