these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
