Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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