HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
