Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
