Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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