Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
