Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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