There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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