Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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