you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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